Beautiful at 40...

In our family when daddy goes on a business trip the kids LOVE to occupy his spot in the bed. They go so far as to plan the sleeping nights based on who is or is not sleeping with Izzy - since Izzy isn't allowed in our bed (another story). Anyway, last week Jim was away so they planned it all out, and the day he departed the tradition began. On one of those nights, Christian was in the bed and I was watching miscellaneous T.V. (more for the background noise), and this program came on about all the beautiful women who were turning 40 this year...Jennifer Aniston, Lisa Marie Presley, Molly Ringwald, Céline Dion, Ashely Judd and so on and so on. At the perfect moment, Christian turns to me and says, "Mom, you're over 40 and still beautiful."

Ahhh, from the mouths of babes!

Thank you Christian for the best compliment!

The Search...

Our search for Ella Grace's biological mother, father, and extended family hasn't been as successful as we had hoped for. However we are hopeful new information will come in and the situation will change.

Gene, our searcher, has tried his best to find Ella Grace's biological mother, father, and extended family without success. Without going into too much detail, Irina, the biological mother is still a wander and has no permanent address, thus making it difficult to locate her. Gene was able to make contact with several people within her circle who have seen her in the past few months. Contact information was left with these individuals and they have promised as soon as they see Irina they push the information forward. Until then we have a picture of her and some of Ella Grace from earlier years...

Irina (biological mother)

Ella Grace (about 12-18 months before adoption)

Ella Grace is 3rd from left (green dress/age unknown)

YIKES, Did We Just Do That....

Did Patrick just drive off to school this morning by himself?

Oh Lord, give me strength!

The Cross Over...

WOW, where does the time go? Today, Patrick crossed over from learner's permit to an actual license. So not ready for him to drive! Not because he isn't ready, but because I am not ready...one baby all grown up!

Numbered...

Earlier than anticipated (but thankful) Ella Grace's social security card came in the mail today.

Questions, Questions & More Questions...

Remember we had decided to conduct a birth mother/family search? We have now compiled a list of questions we would like for our researcher to ask IF he is able to locate our daughter's biological family, extended family, and orphanage.

Here they are:

Questions:

Pregnancy, Labor, Delivery

· Was labor difficult?
· Was Ella Grace carried full term?
· Did you have medical care while you were pregnant?
· Was Ella Grace your first pregnancy? If not how did those pregnancies terminate?
· Did you drink or smoke while you were pregnant?
· Did she have any medical conditions upon birth?
· What were Ella Grace’s birth stats? Length and weight?
· For the 5 months you mothered her, was she a good baby?
· Did she sleep and eat well?
· Do you have any baby pictures of her?
· Is the name you gave her a family name? If so, who did you name her after?

Father’s Information

· Did he know about the pregnancy?
· If he did, was he at the birth? If yes, did he hold her and did he help name her?
· How old was her father at time of birth?
· What is his birthday, eye color, hair color, build, and
· height, weight; and is he right or left handed?
· Is he Ukrainian or another nationality?
· Did he go to school?
· What was his favorite subject?
· Was he a good student?
· Is he employed? If so, what type of employment?
· What type of education does he have?
· Did he have hobbies?
· What are his interest?
· Does he have a favorite song, food, time of year, sport,
· animal, color, holiday, and childhood memory?
· What religion does he practice if any?
· Does his family know of Ella Grace?
· How is his general health both physical and mental?
· What is his relationship with the birth mother now?
· Is he married/divorced now? If yes, how long?
· Does his now or then wife know of Ella Grace?
· If married/divorced, are there any children?
· Are they aware of a half sibling?
· Is there anything he or they would want Ella Grace to know?
· Is there anything he would like to send to his biological daughter as a memento/keepsake?
· What type of relationship would he like to have with us?

Mother’s Information

· What were the circumstances of the pregnancy (planned or unplanned)?
· What were the circumstances which made her place Ella Grace in the child house at 5 months old?
· What is her birthday, height, weight, hair color, eye color and is she right or left handed?
· Is she employed? If so, what type of employment?
· What type of education does she have?
· What was her favorite subject in school?
· Was she a good student?
· Does she have hobbies?
· What are her interest?
· Does she have a favorite song, food, time of year, sport, animal, color, holiday, and childhood memory?
· What religion does she practice if any?
· Does her family know of Ella Grace?
· What does she do in her spare time?
· How is her general health both physical and mental?
· What is her relationship with the birth father now?
· She is married/divorced now… how long?
· Does her now or then husband know of Ella Grace?
· Are there any children? If so, are they aware of a half sibling?
· Any other children given up for adoption? If so, does she know where they are now?
· Is there anything she or they would want Ella Grace to know?
· Is there anything she would like to send to her biological daughter as a memento/keepsake?
· What type of relationship would she like to have with us?

Orphanage/Child House

· Are there any photos of our daughter when she was
· younger?
· Who took care of Ella Grace when she was a baby?
· (Names, pictures, any info)
· What was she like as a baby?
· Did she have a favorite toy, song, game?
· Did she play better with girls or boys?
· How old was she when she sat up alone? Walked unassisted?
· When did she cut her first tooth?
· What was her first word?
· Did she ever ask about her biological mother and/or father?
· Did she have a best friend? Who? Pictures?
· While in the child house, did she have any illnesses?

Extended Family & Relatives

· Please list all known family members – living and/or dead.
· Include names, birthdays, death dates, pictures, occupations, religions.
· Where were her ancestors from? Where do they live now?
· Is there any history of disease or mental illness?
· What is the general health of relatives?
· What are their addresses, phone numbers, email addresses?
· Any special talents in the family?
· Any other background information that might be interesting or useful.

Can you think of anything we have left out?

Life Insurance, Educational Funds, Savings...

Just when you think you have completed all but the last post placement visit and passport...

...you remember the other important things like life insurance, educational funds, and a savings account. Today, we bought her life insurance policy, started her educational funds, and deposited monies into her very own savings. Are we forgetting anything?

Numbers 3-2-4

We have applied for and received confirmation the Social Security Administration is processing a social security number for Ella Grace. We should have it in about 2 weeks.

One more post placement visit and a U.S. passport to go!

Thank You...

A HUGE thank you to the great people at Jacqui's Hair Salon! I was worried I would be stuck playing with my toys and eating the boring healthy snacks Mommy packed for me. To my relief, Jacqui let me help with foil highlighting, I talked to EVERYONE, and I had cake, candy, rice, cheese and a few other treats Mommy doesn't know about! Thank you again for a delightful afternoon.

Ella Grace Ana Payne

Visit Jacqui's Salon http://www.jacquihairsalon.com

Four Months Ago...

...She stole our hearts

AND

Now she has filled our hearts with so much love and joy!

Birth Mother Search...

Jim and I have decided to move forward with the search for Ella Grace's birth mother in hopes we will have answers for Ella Grace when she becomes inquisitive herself. Interestingly, the gentleman we have hired for the job is married to a lovely lady who works at the child house where Ella Grace was living.

~~~~~~~~~~

As the search begins, we have been asked to compile a list of questions for the birth mother and/or her family. We think we have compiled a good list of questions, but we are inviting you to leave suggested questions here on our blog.

~~~~~~~~~~

Looking forward to your thoughts, ideas, and suggestions!

This And That...In Pictures

Look What Santa Left....

Santa stuffed something really BIG into the stockings this year! No, don't be silly he couldn't have put a horse in a stocking; he tried but it wouldn't fit. Santa left riding lessons at the local stable and today was our first day!

This is the way we brush the horse...

Mama! No leavin' Ella! Come back!

Carson trotting with Red....it was love at first sight!

Come on old timer....trot!

I liket it riding the horse!

They had so much fun! We will take our camera next Saturday for updates.

Dreams Really Do Come True...

Ella Grace Ana Payne 12-24-2008

From Steven Curtis Chapman's "All I Really Want For Christmas"

All I really want for Christmas is someone to tuck me in; A shoulder to cry on if I lose, shoulders to ride on if I win; There's so much I could ask for, but there's just one thing I need; All I really want for Christmas is a family...

All I want for Christmas is someone who'll be here; To sing me happy birthday for the next 100 years; And It's okay if they're not perfect or even if they're a little broken; That's alright, 'Cause so am I ...

All I really want for Christmas is someone to tuck me in; Tell me I'll never be alone, someone whose love will never end; Of all that I could ask for, well, there's just one thing I need; All I really want for Christmas is a family...

Last Weekend of Shopping...

I can hardly believe this is the last weekend before Christmas! Have you finished Christmas shopping? I haven't but I don't plan on doing any this weekend. I panic in crowds and well, it is just not good. So, we will bake and prep for Christmas Day and jump into the last minute shopping on Monday!

I am wrapping the under the tree gifts tonight in hopes of not staying up until the wee hours waiting for Santa's delivery of unwrapped gifts. I am really hoping to just sit out that cup of milk, cookies, and reindeer food and go to bed early. I won't - never do; but it is nice to share the thought!

The kids are so excited with anticipation of what Santa will deliver! They are going to be so surprised!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

On another subject, Ella Grace and I have met an Ukrainian lady who has been able to speak with her in Russian on a couple of occasions now. In speaking her native tongue, Ella Grace seems a bit lost on some of the words - we hope the conversing will help her to retain her native language.

Checking the Blocks...

Finally after 5 (yes five!) phone calls we have Ella Grace's passport back from the Ukrainian Embassy. We mailed it in October...emailed BEFORE we sent it off to verify timeline - they stated 10 working days....and there you have it, 10 very long Ukrainian working days from October 21st to December 16th. They sent a drafted letter outlining our years (2009, 2010, 2011, 2014, 2017, 2020, and 2021) for filing our periodic annual reports about the progress of Ella Grace Ana.

We had our 3 month post placement conducted last week on Thursday and should have it in our hands tomorrow. It then has to be forwarded to the state to be apostilled, returned to us, and then on to our agency. Easy enough...maybe 10 working days?

Honeymoon...

It has been 3 full months since Ella Grace Ana has arrived home; and that time has just flown by. Ella Grace has had many accomplishments and a multitude of 1st since she has been home - so many I dare not list them here. She is growing and bonding magnificently and since she has "found her place" in the family her true personality and character has emerged. She is still the sweetest little girl full of love, hugs, kisses, warmth, smiles, and laughter however, the honeymoon is over (at least as she sees it).

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

She REFUSES to take a nap anymore. She progressively went from 2 naps a day to none. Which is fine, but we all need some quiet time. So after lunch, I take her to her room so she can have some self play and learn to entertain herself. This worked great for about 10 minutes. Suddenly, there was an uneasy quiet and when I tiptoed in to find out why, I found Ella Grace 10 layers deep in my makeup! After we cleaned up, I took her back to her room and explained to her this is Ella's room, Ella's dolls, Ella's toys, Ella's place to play. Mommy wants Ella to play with her babies (LaLa's) and toys here for a little bit. After that discussion she stayed in her room and played for about 45 minutes (I checked to make sure she wasn't back into the bathroom) before she said, "Ella finished play now."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Listening. She listens, seems to understand, repeats it to you, demonstrates to you what she should or should not be doing and then turns around when you are not looking and does it anyway! Testing boundaries in a big way here.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Night Night. She was doing great for the first 7 weeks going to bed without any issues. Now, she refuses to have the lights off and her door closed (not all the way) - she doesn't cry, oh no, she SCREAMS. We put a night night light in her room and she still SCREAMS the moment one of us heads out of the room; and the screaming doesn't quit unless one of us goes back into her room. We have started "prepping" her before bed by saying we are going night night in 10 minutes, 5 minutes and so forth along with and we are not going to scream or cry. She repeats it with, Ella go night night, no cry, no scream....but it always ends up in tears. Which tugs at our hearts but we know we have to set the boundaries and be firm. It has gotten better (some nights) and she will just weep until she drifts off to sleep. I believe something traumatic happened and she is comfortable enough now to let her guard down yet, still unable to communicate what her fear is.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Other than these few little hiccups, Ella Grace is happy, healthy, and growing. She is our bright little star and she knows she is daddy and mama's little girl. While it is not always a cake walk, it wasn't such with our other 3 children either; but we are blessed this little girl is a thriving, happy, healthy little angel in our lives.

Let It Snow, Let It Snow, Let It Snow...

We had snow today! A rare event but it happened, and a beautiful sight. The kids were so excited - even Ella Grace who I am sure has seen snow before. We will pray we have some more over the winter! This is El Paso from a past snow....can we top it?

El Paso, Texas

Who Said....

Who said I was afraid of dogs? One could never tell that just 2.5 months ago this child screamed when she saw a dog headed her way. This is Ella Grace playing with Ginger at my Aunt's home in New Mexico.

Christian (10)

Carson (9)

Under Examination...

This morning we had dental exams...all 4 children in one shot. First, I must say to those of you who manage more than 4 children (plus a dog) to any one appointment on the same day consecutively - BRAVO! We managed to make it by the skin of our teeth!

Patrick - no cavities; needs sealants (partially covered by our insurance) and requires extractions (4) before he is 18 and the dental insurance drops him!

Christian - 2 cavities...teeth 3 and 14 - these teeth have erupted with zero enamel to protect them and while Christian could brush better these 2 teeth would still have needed the end result...a crown. Of course he will also need sealant (not covered by our insurance) on a few of his teeth.

Carson - no cavities; requires sealant (again, not covered) on several of his teeth and he will need braces in 6 months.

Ella Grace - no cavities and no sealants required! You go girl!

Cost $649.80
Smiles are priceless!

Then off to take care of Izzy. Our boxer beauty is 12 weeks old, weighs in at 14.7 pounds and is eating us out of house and home - a true Payne. She doubled her weight in just 4 short weeks! Izzy had a full doggie exam today to include her shots and micro chip. She is such a great dog and so cute!

Lastly, today was my 43rd birthday! Thank you to eveyone who sent birthday wishes. I am so blessed to have family and friends like you!

Now, I am off to bed at 1:05 A.M. because at 43 I need my beauty rest in order to stay looking like I am 34!