Major Changes

Those of you still reading and who know me well - this is going to knock your socks off.

Have you ever made a decision/choice and then later thought better of it? Thought maybe I could have made a wiser choice? Perhaps a situation isn't what it appears to be at first and the 'other' option(s) may have been a better fit? My point is, often times we make decisions and later find those decisions may not have been the best choice. This had happened with the choice we made for schooling for Christian and Carson.

Coming from Madrid, Spain and the private school ASM we gravitated towards the private schooling here. We searched, we visited, we asked questions, we compared, and thought we had made the right choice. Now, we are sure we made the wrong choice. It has been 12 weeks since the boys began school - 4 of them while we were in Ukraine. Every night, they have had between 4 and 5 hours of homework - yes homework. Their routine consist of arriving home, 30 minutes to eat and play, then to the dining room table for homework. From 4 in the afternoon until bedtime we (Christian, Carson and myself) are at the dining room table with studies. They have absolutely no time to hang out with friends, socialize, play sports, or be apart of any community activities. I have no time to cook dinner, talk with a neighbor, on the phone, or go to the bathroom! It has been stressful and not very fun. They have cried and I have cried. It is terrible to see your kids so miserable. It tugs at your heart when they say, "We moved here on base to have friends, we don't have time for friends because it is always homework, homework, homework!" What do you do?

So we took a huge step back and looked at this objectively and asked ourselves..... Why do they dislike school? Why are they begging us not to send them to school every morning? Are they being pushed too hard and/or too quickly? What happened to enjoying and loving to learn? Where are the hands on experiments? Where is their community involvement at? Where are they learning team building? Do we want them to "learn" the material or "know" the material? How do we make learning fun? How do we make this work for our family?

After careful consideration, much thought, and a whole lotta praying and asking for guidance, we have decided effective Friday, October 31st Christian and Carson will no longer attend the private school they have been attending or a public school. They will be home schooled. Yes, I did say home schooled for those of you who thought you didn't read that correctly.


I never thought in a thousand years I would be homeschooling my children. I didn't think I had the personality or drive to teach my own children; but here we are at this juncture in our lives where we must make decisions that are selfless and in the best possible interest of others. We are excited and looking forward to this new challenge for our family. As we move forward in this new journey we hope to bring the fun back into learning math, science, language, history, spelling, reading; and to teach them new and exciting things, to have hands on experiences that go hand in hand with what they are studying, to be apart of their community and learn about citizenship, team building and volunteering, to join the football, baseball, soccer or swim teams AND just be a kid.

Birthday Girl!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY

Ella celebrated her 5th birthday today - her first with her forever family and her

first as an American citizen.

Cake

New Name....so says she

Our little Ella Grace has picked a "new name" she insist on calling herself "Elle" or "LaLa."

She is showing us her comic side:

She plays this game: She will say, "Eta Mama, (pointing to me) and then "Eta Elle Lala" (pointing to herself). When I point to me and say, "Eta Mama" she says, "Nyet!" and points to me and says, "Eta Ella" (then points to herself) and says, "Eta Mama."

Isn't she just the cutest little thing!

She called me Mommy today! Still calling Papa - Papa.

It's Raining...Inside the house!

Our entryway was raining and the chandelier was the waterfall....

....the repair men came and OH MY now that is some damage!

Our hot water pipe had sprung a leak....this is the damage to the ceiling

The repairs were 3 days long - but they handled our home with care by draping off the rest of the house to avoid dust and damage....

And now it looks like new!

Ideas....

Thanks for all the great ideas for Ella's 5th birthday celebration and first with us. We are keeping it simple and pretty....

E-Mail...

Do you get behind?

I had 96 emails to respond to! I wish that "E" stood for Easy - it took all day to go through and respond to all those emails. I am good now...just one left to respond to - sorry Rita. Why did I leave just one? I can't imagine waking up in the morning and not having "mail" in my Gmail in box. Something to look forward to I suppose. :o)

The Community Showers Us...

Our community showered Ella and I with a beautiful Adoption Shower to celebrate Ella's arrival. Thank you Lisa and Michelle for such a beautiful shower and for your friendships, support and love. Thank you to the 6th BDE Ladies, Friends, and Neighbors who we are so blessed to have surrounding us. We treasure your friendships and thank all of you for the well wishes, support, love and beautiful gifts you so generously gave to Ella. She will enjoy with squeals of delight - each and every one of them!

Almost 5....Need Help With Ideas

Ella's birthday is almost here. She is going to be 5 years old. We want to plan a little something for her but nothing that is too overwhelming. She has a few babies but she has not been introduced to barbies, princesses, Disney...etc. Any suggestions for her birthday - keeping it simple but memorable as her first birthday with her forever family?

Taking the Plunge...

Today we took the plunge....swimming of course! Christian, Carson, Ella and I (Lisa) opted for the pool today after school. The boys really needed the break from homework. We arrived at the indoor pool and Ella thought we were going to a restaurant as she kept yelling with excitement "EAT!" "EAT!" Once we were inside she was equally excited when she saw the pool. We went to our respective dressing rooms and put on our swim gear and headed out to the pool. Now, everything echos at an indoor pool so her normal LOUD shriek was amplified! Christian and Carson were dutiful big brothers and gently helped her into the pool, went to get her a life vest, and then a paddle board which she LOVED! She played with them for an hour. Jumping off the side of the pool and going under about a hundred times until the slide opened. She cannot swim but didn't seem to mind going under or being "dumped" off the end of the slide. Everyone had a great hour of fun! I think it will become on Wednesday activity for the day. I didn't take the camera this time...sorry. I will next time, promise!

Ella's Story

This is not a new post however, we have had several emails asking where did the post go so we decided to post it again....

Documented in court papers, this is Ella’s Story...

...Ella was born to a healthy 18 year old mother as the first birth in a normal pregnancy in October, 2003. The court documents translated state, “the mother is a registered resident in the city of (X) however; she does not have a permanent place of living and resides in various places with various partners. She is of low income and social background.”

In March 2004, Ella (5 months old) was placed on full state support at the Child House on the request of her birthmother. At this time, she stated she did not have a place to live or income to provide for Ella and therefore, could not properly care for her. Over the next few months, Ella’s birthmother made monthly visits, in time, those visits became further and further apart until eventually the birthmother stopped visiting completely. Since then, the birthmother has not expressed any further interest in Ella’s state of health, made any attempts to initiate contact with Ella, or attempted to contact the Child House or state bodies to inquire about Ella’s upbringing, offer support, or request help to assist her in getting through her situation in order to regain custody of Ella. No additional family members visited or inquired about Ella or her status while at the Child House.

In October 2005, Ella’s birthmother married and took the surname of her husband and has not made any attempts to petition for Ella.

In May of last year, court convened to terminate the birthmother’s rights. The court notified the birthmother of the date, place, and time of the hearing however, she did not appear before the judge and her rights to Ella were terminated. Shortly after her parental rights had been terminated, she appeared at the court. Advised she had missed the hearing and her rights had effectively been terminated, she was advised she had the right to appeal the decision within 10 days of the judgment. No appeal was ever filed.

Ella was now able to be placed into the “system” and made available for adoption after the mandatory waiting period.

Ella’s file arrived on Friday, August 15, 2008 at the SDA and we were shown her file on Monday, August 18, 2008 at our appointment. Ella’s file was the first of the two files we were shown.

Please remember it is not for us to pass judgment on the decisions Ella’s birthmother made. We believe she made the best choices for the health and welfare of Ella under the circumstances she found herself in. It is obvious she loved her baby and made choices to ensure she would be provided for. We are forever thankful to her for the gift of this smart, happy, healthy, and spirited child. She is an absolute joy. We are blessed and thankful God had her in mind for us.

One, Two, Three...

Time just manages to slip away no matter how hard you try to hold on to it; and no matter how you use it. It has been three short weeks since we brought Ella home and it is amazing how much she has changed already. She is so attached to her brothers and loves to spend hours outside on the saucer swing with them and they love taking her to the park to play. They have adjusted so well to having a little sister in the house - it is truly a blessing how well this new combination fits together. It's like she has always been here.

Some things we have learned about Ella over the past few weeks:

She has absolutely no interest in T.V. - None.
She loves her baby dolls, jewelry, dresses, and pink glitter slippers.
She loves to take a bath (although we have had to work on not drinking the bath water).
She is a great little Mama's helper.
She sucks her thumb when she goes to sleep.
She does not like bedtime and usually breaks down in tears when she knows it is time.
She will eat you out of house and home if you let her.
She likes to teach you Russian instead of her learning more English although she is progressing.
She is warming up to dogs but she is still not so sure about them.
She is great at playing possum (fake snoring LOUDLY while answering your question with a nod).

We have kept consistency with her as well as routine the last three weeks. She understands about 80-85% of what we say to her. For example, if I say Ella we don't need the lights. Can you turn them off please. She does. If we ask her to put her shoes in the closet she does. If we say it is your turn to pray she does - although we have no idea what she has said because it is in Russian except for the "Amen" at the end of her prayer.


Here are some pictures of our weekend at the Amigo Air Show.



How do you drive this?





The view from here is much better.



This is my kinda ride




We are family....all my brothers.....Papa and me....

Stopping By....

Stopping by our blog?

Well now that you're here leave us a message we would love to hear from you!

The Nose Story...

Okay, here is the what happened to Ella's nose....

The last day we were in Ukraine, Ella and I went with a friend of mine to the park to let Ella play and expend some energy. She was doing great, swinging, playing, climbing and having a great deal of fun while I was taking pictures. The park was beautiful and right off the river....my friend asked if I had seen the river from the park...I hadn't. Just as I took a couple of steps towards the wall to take some pictures I heard screams - Ella's and my friend. Ella had tried to climb across the money bars without assistance in the blink of an eye. There was no time for my friend to have reached her and she fell flat on her face in the sand. It looked bad however, there was no broken bones, lost teeth or anything of that sort. She had a mouth full of sand, skinned her little face up and bruised her hip. It has since cleared up and there is no lasting scars.






This is right after the fall and clean up.



Ella today (9/27/08)

Two Weeks Home

We have been home 2 weeks - where does the time go? We are finding our new normal and figuring out how this wonderful new combination works. We are having so much fun watching her explore new experiences. She is an amazing little girl. These are some pictures of our homecoming and of the past to weeks. Her little nose is almost all better now....




Carson, Christian and my niece Astryd waiting for us at the airport




Finally, with Papa




Ella and Patrick - her knight in shinning armor




Happy to be home




Presents for me?

I am working this new princess role

Such a cutie!


Thank you to Carly & Caden for the box full of fun and accessories. Ella loves to wear her beads, accessories and her pretty glitter shoes you sent!

Thank you to everyone who came to the airport to welcome us home and for the lovely gifts you gave to Ella. She looks adorable in all those cute outfits!

The First Six Weeks...

Well, the first six weeks of school are up and I missed 4 of them while in Ukraine.

Patrick did great although, I am not so sure his new school is challenging enough for him after his 3 years at ASM. We have considered putting him in a more challenging program at another school (also private) however, seeing how much he poured into his studies in Spain we opted to permit him to have a little more leisure time, time for sports, and socializing. He is a responsible and good kid who makes the right choices (most of the time) he is deserving of some down time.

We have yet to see Christian and Carson's report cards however, they should bring them home tonight. Last night was report card night at their school - a few hours set aside for parents to go pick up their report cards and spend 5 minutes with the teachers. Unfortunately, we had prior commitments and were not able to make it. We are able to follow their grades online - everything from daily work to test and the final grade for term 1. It appears they struggled a bit over the first few weeks but comments from their teachers say they are doing much better.

They had a lot of changes going on with the move, new home, new friends, new school, daddy and mommy leaving, grandma caring for them, daddy coming back and then finally mommy and Ella. We are finding our new normal and our routine seems to be working now.

Keep checking back - we will post pictures of everyone soon!

Pins & Needles....Mostly Just Needles

Ella had her first appointment with the Doctor yesterday. Dr. Perez was just wonderful with her and so gentle! He did a complete exam from head to toe and found Ella to be, "a normal, healthy, happy, child who appears to be adjusting and adapting great." She has gained 2 pounds in just under 2 weeks...either it is the peanut butter & bananas or the previous scale was off.

I was a bit concerned about a "bump" on her lower spine however, it turned out to be nothing significant or out of the ordinary.

She had blood work done in Ukraine in 04 with all results within the normal range. We were having a blood typing test done and since she was going to be poked for it we opted to repeat all the standard test for accuracy and under U.S. standards. Ella does not like needles nor do I! The moment she saw the needle she knew what was happening. She's a tough little girl though and only cried briefly when the needle went it. Thankfully, they used the butterfly needle which isn't so big and not nearly as scarey. We should have the results of the labs by early next week.

Then we were off to immunizations - she needed 5 to bring her up-to-date. She was only given four since we think she has had the chicken pox already (the labs included a test to see if she has). She had 2 pokes in each thigh; and yes she cried and so did I. Once she was off the exam table she was fine....until we had to sit in the waiting room for 15 minutes (reaction to immunization wait) and she cuddled in my lap and cried the whole 15 minutes.

In Ella's translated medical records (not the diagnoses given by the SDA), it stated she has speech delay. Of course, neither Dr. Perez or I are fluent in Russian and we cannot tell if she actually has a speech delay. We have decided to wait until she is speaking more English to have her evaluated.

I knew exactly what would be her bright spot after all those needles - her Papa. I called Papa who was ready for lunch so we took Ella to her very first meal in the O'Club. She is such a little daddy's girl and it is so cute to see her explode with joy when she sees him. Okay, it's cute to watch a big man like Jim melt when he sees her to!

That's it for now...

Adjustments...

I think some of you have missed our blogging....I have had several emails requesting updates and new pictures. Sorry for the delay we have been adjusting to our new household combination. Ella is settling in wonderfully. Our first couple of days home we spent with our family here in El Paso allowing Ella to "get to know" them. She enjoyed playing on the saucer swing, blowing bubbles, and writing/drawing with chalk on the sidewalk with her cousin Astryd and her bodyguards, Patrick, Christian, & Carson - talk about protective!

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Sunday evening Papa left for a short business trip and Ella walked around the house calling, "Papa come to me, Papa I am waiting for you." This was in Russian and I only know what she was saying because she repeated it 1,000 times while we were in Ukraine without Papa and our wonderful translator "N" helped me out with the translation. We also made a trip to the commissary on Sunday afternoon which didn't start out to good. Ella began crying uncontrollably as soon as we drove away from the house - crying so hard she couldn't speak. I diverted to a parking lot to try to calm her down. She clung to me and was trying to tell me something in Russian....of which, I can only suspect was she didn't want to leave. The last time she had been in the car was from the airport to home (about 10 minutes). I believe she thought I was taking her back - my heart ached for her. Once we arrived at the commissary and she was out of the car, she was happy again.

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Monday morning....Ella wakes up between 0530 and 0600. Now, maybe this is because her "clock" is upside down due to travel and it will taper off later, but for now it works for us. We have our little routine in the morning which includes her helping to wake the boys up for school. Now, prior to this little princess this was a chore in the morning since 2 of the 3 boys are like waking hibernating bears. Not with Ella around! She climbs into the bed with each of them; snuggles and smothers them in kisses! I think they secretly adore the attention although they will not admit it! Finally we are off to drop the boys off at school. This becomes another sobbing moment. She doesn't understand the concept of the boys leaving for school. It's heartbreaking to see her cry so hard. They try to sooth her and tell her they will be back, but she just doesn't understand. This routine happened both Monday and Tuesday however, on Wednesday there were NO TEARS! Yeah! I think she understands she will see them in the afternoon and she is absolutely elated to see them later in the day. She holds hands with both of them and is grinning ear to ear. When Patrick arrives home she runs to him and squeals with joy to see him!

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Wednesday night Papa came home from a short business trip. I think if I had taken her seat belt off before Christian & Carson had gotten out of the car, she would have knocked them over running to Papa. She is all about her Papa. She will sit in the car and repeat over and over, "My Papa, Mama and brats (brothers)" smiling ear to ear as she says it.

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Thursday morning there were no tears when we took the boys to school however, the moment Papa exited the car the lip drooped and the tears welled up. I pulled over so she could get out of the car to hug Papa....she so loves her Papa. No tears when she was back in the car ~ she just needed a little reassurance from him. After our walk, we strolled over to Papa's office for a surprise visit. She peeped around his door and must have caught a glimpse of him and ran in after him...never mind he was in a meeting! There are some things you just take a break for...one of them being this little girl who in such as short time has wrapped this Papa around her little finger!

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Okay, that's the update! I hope this holds you over until we download and post the "Arriving Home" video and pictures that you have all been requesting.

Love,

The Payne Family

We Are Home...

Hello Everyone!

We made it home safe and sound and have been enjoying the company of our family and friends the past couple of days. I promise to post pictures and more soon; we just need a bit of time to settle into a routine. The boys are doing great with their new little sister ~ they love her so much and are just spoiling her with attention.

Ella slept on the flight from Kiev to Munich since we woke up at 0400 to arrive at the airport in time to check bags and catch our flight. We were not going to miss it! Our flight from Munich to Denver was 10.5 hours and she did amazingly well on this flight. She made friends with John and Dee from Montana. Thank you John and Dee for your kindness and making Ella's flight most enjoyable! Once we made it to Denver, we had an original 2 hour layover; it eventually became a 3.5 hour layover due to weather. Finally, we were on our way and made it to El Paso only 1 hour later than anticipated. We were greeted by our family (Jim, Christian, Carson, Grandma (NaNa), Rhea, Paul, Zenia, Astryd, Irma, and Rene - thank you all for being there!

We are now home, happy, and thankful for a journey filled with so many blessings and thankful to have so many friends, family, fellow bloggers to pray for us and keep our spirits lifted while we traveled to a far away land to bring our little princess home.

Thank you, Thank you, Thank you, Thank you, Thank you, Thank you!

Glad to Be An American...

We (Ella and I) are on American soil. It is an awesome feeling to be back in this GREAT country. More later...just wanted everyone reading to know we have made it back to the USA - not home; but back to the land of the brave and the home of the free!

Visa Obtained We Are Heading Home

Today I received Ella's visa (no daddy, not the credit card) and we are ready to head back to the United States! Our appointment was at 2:00 and I was finished by 3:00 ish. While there, I ran into Staci & Damon with their handsome little man Wesley http://stacianddamon.blogspot.com/
along with 3 other families. I think we are all ready to head home. Be safe on your travels home families it was great to chat with you and see your beautiful blessings!

We also said our good-byes to our translator "N" today - it was a tearful moment. She has been wonderful and we will miss her as Ella says. "N" - we know you are reading, thank you just doesn't seem to say enough. You are an amazing lady and we are forever grateful to you.

Hard to believe we came here in search of our daughter 27 days ago and tomorrow I leave with a smart, giggly, girly girl who is absoutely amazing and beautiful! Tomorrow will be a long day for both Ella and I; as well as our family and friends who await our return at El Paso International Airport. See you all then!

Love,
Lisa & Ella Grace