About Our Family

El Paso, Texas, United States
We are James, Lisa, Patrick, Christian, Carson, and Ella Payne a military family serving our country via service in the U.S. Army. Jim and I have been married for 18 years and have 3 wonderful home grown sons -Patrick, Christian and Carson. We recently adopted our beautiful daughter Ella Grace Ana from Donets'k, Ukraine in September. Jim and I began our Army life together at Fort Bliss, El Paso, Texas and every assignment thus far has extended unique opportunities and challenges for our family to grow and learn; to become a stronger, committed, and a prepared Army family. Having recently lived abroad for six amazing years, we cannot express how thankful we are for the opportunity to have represented our great country and to discover the cultures and customs of other countries; to become close to the people and learn from them; to open our hearts and minds to the unfamiliar languages and way of life in other countries. Having now moved back to the United States, we are looking forward to discovering what new adventures await our family. Rest assured, wherever the Army sends us we will continue to serve you and our country proudly. Army life, we wouldn’t trade it!

March 25, 2009

Spring break is over and we are back to the daily routine. I love routine and those days when everything just seems to fall into place.

Tomorrow we are having our 6 month post placement visit. Hard to believe it has been a little over six months since our Ella Grace came home. She has accomplished so much and has seen and done so much in her first six months home - we are so proud of her.

Thank you to all of you who have been our support (knowingly or not) with your comments, suggestions, thoughts, and sometimes just listening to me (Family, Tammy H., Christine, Heather, Dee, Adriana, Michelle, Antonio y Amparo, Mamaporuski, Conethia & Jim Bob, Kathleen, Kristina, Lori, Tammy, Sue, Tracy, Julie, Beth, Melissa, Sabrina, Rachel, Schrie...the list goes on and on. Thank you all!

March 20, 2009

Happy Spring!

Today was the first day of SPRING!
I love the season. It's a season of starting over....a rebirth
Nature wakes up with the chirping of birds, green grass, blossoming flowers and trees, the sky is blue and the rain smells different. It's time to clean and pack away the winter wear and bring out the shorts and dresses; it's a time to enjoy the warmth of the sun and the cool evening breeze.
What does spring mean to you?

March 17, 2009

St. Patrick's Day

Happy St. Patrick's Day!
St. Patrick's Day is celebrated on March 17, his religious feast day and the anniversary of his death in the fifth century. The Irish have observed this day as a religious holiday for over a thousand years.

On St. Patrick's Day, which falls during the Christian season of Lent, Irish families would traditionally attend church in the morning and celebrate in the afternoon. Lenten prohibitions against the consumption of meat were waived and people would dance, drink, and feast—on the traditional meal of Irish bacon and cabbage.

March 16, 2009

March 15, 2009

Daddy's Home...

Daddy arrive home earlier than expected from his business trip (TDY) in Hawaii.
Welcome home DADDY we missed you!

March 13, 2009

T.G.I.F.

I had Christian, Carson & Ella ready to go out the door at 0820 (10 minutes ahead of my estimated time) and into the car. We drove to the other side of town and traffic wasn't too bad; we actually arrived at our tenant's house 10 minutes early (we were there to meet the carpet installers) and waited until 0910 before I called the company with a cheerful, "I'm here where are they?" As it turns out, the time was not 0900 but "sometime" between 0900 and 1000. Okay, I think I have lived outside of the country too long....since when do you get an estimated appointment time instead of an actual appointment time? Why does any company think a consumer has that kind of flexibility in their schedule to sit and wait for them to show up? Crazy!

With the "window of opportunity" before me I took it to grab the kids a really healthy breakfast at the local Diamond Shamrock - coke and chips! Please don't leave me notes about what a bad parent I am. I am a faithful hot breakfast cooker Monday through Saturday. We then extended our window with a trip to the post for stamps and drop some letters off (long overdue "change my address" letters). Just as we arrived back (0945) the carpenters arrived.

They quickly moved about the house moving what was necessary to install the carpet and were finished by 1130!

I promised the kids lunch out today so we headed over to Olive Garden for some soup and salad - yummy! We finished with lunch and headed back home so the boys' could make gym class and Ella had a play date today. I dropped the boys' off and hurried home so Ella could make her play date. Then, I was kid-less What do I do now? I haven't been kid-less since (I'm thinking here.....) Adriana and I went to Africa! Has it really been that long?

I promptly scanned my "to do list" and found SEVERAL things I could knock off while the house was quiet - phone calls! I called the life insurance company, the appointment line, the TriWest office, & Verizon wireless - talk about productive! I did have to ask the Verizon guy to call me back since it was time to pick up Christian and Carson and soon Ella.

With everyone back home we readied ourselves for soccer and headed back out the door....

.....later back in the door and snuggling in for the night.
These are the latest treasures from the Antoshka Child House of Ella Grace

Ella pretending to be a stylist

Ella is in the lime green dress eating a cookie

Ella is far left in the white dress with red trim and white bow

March 12, 2009

One of THOSE Days...

Have you ever had ONE OF THOSE DAYS?
It began early...
The dog (Izzy) puked in Christan's bed...
Christian & Izzy ended up in my bed...
I woke up late...
No early morning walk...
No "me time" with coffee and news...
Late getting started on our home schooling...
The boys' took FOREVER to teach today....
Their test didn't go so well...
Ella was defiant today (again)...
I had a MOUNTAIN of laundry (again)
Chores were a struggle for the boys'...
Ella busted her chin open (again)...
Since we were struggling with school today, Ella was late to ballet...
I ordered take out thinking I would end it all easily tonight, but they were out of chicken and I had to wait for it to be dropped...
AND
I realized it is 8:00 P.M. and I didn't get a shower today!
I think I am going to bed and try this tomorrow (after I shower).
One last question...how was your day?

March 11, 2009

Feeling Better

Finally we are all feeling better and back on our feet and into our routine.
Ella had her eye appointment yesterday and she was/is on the edge of not needing glasses. The opthamologist would not have prescribed them for her IF she didn't have stigmatism in her right eye. Today, we went to pick out her frames and she will wear her new glasses for 6 weeks. She will then revisit the opthamologist for a reevaluation.
We are back into a full day of school with much success! The boys jumped right in and didn't complain one bit.
Ella still doesn't like to sit and trace her name, letter, numbers or colors. She cries as if I am punishing her. I have tried to give her a treat if she completes it and I have tried multiple ways of helping her learn to write without much success. She does well with repeat learning but writing/tracing is a struggle.
I hope to post some pictures in the next couple of days.

March 8, 2009

And another one...

Ella Grace and Patrick have now gotten the bug.
Pray for our speedy recoveries as 4 out of 6 of us are sick.

March 7, 2009

Bugged...

No, not the creepy crawling kind. The sick bug is making its' way through our house. Carson woke up sick and now Christian isn't feeling so well. I hope this bug is exterminated soon! I still feel yucky myself, Jim and Patrick are feeling "tender" in the tummy. Ella Grace has no signs yet of being sick, and hopefully she will not.

More posting later.
Don't forget to change your clocks and if you did - you're late for church!

March 4, 2009

A Mom is a Mom and therefore....

...she must mother even when she is sick.
I am dozing off in bed and I hear, " Mom! Mom!"
Ella Grace fell at the pool and is dripping blood from her chin! It didn't look good; she need a couple of stitches. I ran upstairs, tossed my hair in a ponytail, changed my clothes, brushed my teeth and off we went to the hospital.
Three hours later we had 3 stitches and walked out of the hospital.
Now, I am back in bed and still trying to recover. Hopefully, no more emergencies until tomorrow.
**pictures another day**

March 3, 2009

Sick and Feeling Yucky...


I have so much to post! I will try to post in a couple of days...I am a bit sick right now and just not up to the task. I spent the day seeing the doctor and stocking piling all the antibiotics, tissues, and tea I will need to spend a couple of days in bed.

Thank you to my wonderful boys who just served me soup, strawberries & blackberries, a tall glass of water and some steaming hot tea in bed. Thank you for tucking Ella Grace into bed tonight and saying her prayers with her. You always amaze me with your thoughtfulness and gentle side.

February 20, 2009

Catching up...

I know I have been slacking on our blog posting. Time just seems to get away from me and before I know it an entire week or two has passed since my last post. So grab your cuppa coffee or tea and park your self here for a moment so you can catch up!

Monday, we had a bit of a surprise. After several days of warm weather (upper 60's and low 70's) we were blessed with snow flurries! It flurried for a few hours on our side of town and the kids were in heaven. They begged to go outside, so we took a little recess and they ran around in the flurries for awhile like crazy kids as kids do. They had fun even though they couldn't make a snow man or shovel the sidewalk (yeah, right).

We had a long weekend in conjunction with President's Day, and conveniently Valentine's Day fell over the long weekend. Friday we just enjoyed some down time and relaxed around the house - we read, napped, cleaned up the yard and Jim made a couple of lattice dividers to put along the wall so Izzy (our boxer) would quit jumping the wall. That evening, we went to a movie. Patrick took Carson to see Pink Panther and Jim and I saw Gran Torino (Ella Grace was with us and per usual she slept through the movie). Christian stayed at home for some "quiet time" as he calls it. He is just so much like his Grandpa Payne in that respect.

Saturday morning, we were up early for riding lessons at Rio Valley Grande Ranch. We left the house early, made a pit stop to Duncan Donuts and then picked up Grandma Balk before we headed over the mountain. The kids had a great lesson with Heather teaching them (Christian and Carson) how to stand while trotting and then sent them out on a trail ride on their own. Claire was with Ella Grace during her lesson and she has progressed from being led around to trotting on her own with Claire riding beside her. It is amazing to see how far the kids have come in their lessons and how much joy it brings them. After lessons we took a few pictures at the ranch and then we headed out to La Posta in Old Mesilla for lunch. Normally, it is about a 30 minute ride out however, with Jim driving and sightseeing at the same time it took a bit longer. It's okay honey, we loved all the U turns and new roads we found . Once we arrived, it was 'up to an hour wait' for a table. As luck would have it, we were seated in about 20 minutes! We had a delicious meal and then enjoyed some sightseeing walking around the town and popping in and out of each of the quaint little stores. As we headed back home, we stopped at the Stahlman Farms for a quick look at the pecan farms and to see if anything would tease our taste buds at the Stahlman Store. Unfortunately, last year they stopped selling the chile covered pistachios and are sticking strictly to pecans and pecan products now (bummer!) so without a purchase we continued our journey home; but not before we stopped at Chope's (just for Adriana and Roo). Once we arrived back across the mountain, we stopped at Grandma Balk's so she could pick up the heart cake she made before we headed back to our house to share chocolates, cake, and ice cream. Translation....an additional 5 pounds to each hip. That evening, we decided that while we all smelled like we lived in the stables at the ranch, we had a great day together.

The rest of the holiday weekend was quiet and uneventful. Jim and I took in another movie, Bride Wars (thank you honey for watching the chick movie) and we all just spent some time catching up on things we were behind on. We spent time talking, playing games, and planning what we would like to do on spring break. While it will not be sightseeing somewhere in Europe this year we are considering the Grand Canyon, Florida to see family/friends and of course Disneyland or possibly Hawaii.

On Tuesday, we had piano in the early afternoon for C & C and LaLa (Ella Grace). Then in the late afternoon LaLa had a medical appointment. Now, if you remember we did see the doctor when we arrived back in the United States. I was not satisfied with the "physical" he gave to LaLa and he wasn't a pediatrician. So, after much instance and staying on hold for quite awhile the "system" gave in and scheduled us with a pediatric doctor. There is just such a gentleness with doctors who care for children and LaLa needed this. For some reason she just doesn't like going to see the doctor as she kept saying, "No doctor mommy, no doctor. LaLa fine no doctor." I explained to her it was mommy's doctor and mommy's friend and everything was going to be okay. She was still nervous (she picks at her fingers and knuckles when she is nervous) about the visit. Once we arrived, Lisa our nurse, made Ella Grace feel safe and comfortable. She checked her height, weight, and temperature - all was good at 109 cm tall (3' 6.91") and 38 pounds. Not much weight gain for 5 months home but she has grown taller and is very active. She took a bit of history and then we went right in to see Dr. Um. After a complete head to toe check up and tests for an issue Ella Grace has, she was given the green light to enroll in sports, daycare and school. Dr. Um sent consults out for EG to see the optometrist, speech pathologist, and a hearing specialist - we will wait for those appointments to roll in.

Now, back in December we had our 3 month post placement completed. During the visit, it was suggested that in the spring we enroll EG in some type of daycare/mother's day out so she can begin to socialize and begin to share/learn with other children. We have been preparing EG by asking her if she wants to go to school and if she wants to go play with the other kids. She consistently says yes and becomes very excited when we talk about it. So on Thursday, I planned a small trip to the Child Development Center (CDC) on base. I thought a small visit to allow EG to see the inside, see the kids playing, laughing, and meet the care givers of the "hourly" room would be good - for both of us. It did not turn out as I had anticipated. I held her hand as we walked up to the front of the building as I talked to her about school....playing with kids.....this is her school and she would have great fun playing and exploring here. As we signed into the front desk all was well. Then, as we took a guided tour to "her room" we entered the court yard and before we got to the "hourly" room door she began crying BIG crocodile tears. She kept saying she didn't want to go here, didn't want mommy to leave, she loves family and we go home. It broke my heart. She didn't see this as a fun place to spend a couple of hours a week playing. I am hoping with several visits, me staying with her, and time she will come to enjoy a couple of hours a week alone with other children.

Thursday, we took the day of from schooling and took a field trip to the Lynx Exhibit of Robots. We had so much fun playing with the hands on experiences and we were present when the contract was signed for the next exhibit - but it is a secret, for now!

Christian and Carson had their first soccer game tonight (Thursday) and it was cold, crisp and fun! We watched them running from one end of field to the other at full speed. In the end, we lost the game but we won in the fun category. We celebrated with a trip out to Applebee's for dinner.

The youth center experience was much different than that of the CDC for Ella Grace. My goal today was to enroll Ella Grace is some type of activity. We are too late for soccer season and baseball/T-Ball enrollment has not started. So after reviewing the list of options and crossing off about 80% of them we decided on ballet twice a week. She was absolutely thrilled. She was clapping, smiling and jumping up and down. She loves music and dancing. Maybe this is her niche. Next week I am going to venture over to the indoor pool for possible swimming lessons for her. She loves the water and has no fear, but she cannot swim. Not a good mix for summer time pool adventures.

This was also then end of another 6 weeks of schooling. Patrick studied for multiple exams and prepared for his debate competition on Friday. He won! He will head back on Saturday (today) for another competition and if he wins he will move on to nationals.

Well, that about wraps up our time lapse. Now that you have read this long post, click on comments and leave us a note so we have some reading to do. Come back soon!



Melissa teaching Christian piano



Ella with Dr. Um



Robotic arms at work



Snowing in El Paso, Texas



Soccer action with the boys



Patrick horsing around

February 9, 2009

Beautiful at 40...

In our family when daddy goes on a business trip the kids LOVE to occupy his spot in the bed. They go so far as to plan the sleeping nights based on who is or is not sleeping with Izzy - since Izzy isn't allowed in our bed (another story). Anyway, last week Jim was away so they planned it all out, and the day he departed the tradition began. On one of those nights, Christian was in the bed and I was watching miscellaneous T.V. (more for the background noise), and this program came on about all the beautiful women who were turning 40 this year...Jennifer Aniston, Lisa Marie Presley, Molly Ringwald, Céline Dion, Ashely Judd and so on and so on. At the perfect moment, Christian turns to me and says, "Mom, you're over 40 and still beautiful."

Ahhh, from the mouths of babes!

Thank you Christian for the best compliment!

February 6, 2009

The Search...

Our search for Ella Grace's biological mother, father, and extended family hasn't been as successful as we had hoped for. However we are hopeful new information will come in and the situation will change.

Gene, our searcher, has tried his best to find Ella Grace's biological mother, father, and extended family without success. Without going into too much detail, Irina, the biological mother is still a wander and has no permanent address, thus making it difficult to locate her. Gene was able to make contact with several people within her circle who have seen her in the past few months. Contact information was left with these individuals and they have promised as soon as they see Irina they push the information forward. Until then we have a picture of her and some of Ella Grace from earlier years...


Irina (biological mother)



Ella Grace (about 12-18 months before adoption)


Ella Grace is 3rd from left (green dress/age unknown)

February 5, 2009

YIKES, Did We Just Do That....

Did Patrick just drive off to school this morning by himself?
Oh Lord, give me strength!

February 4, 2009

The Cross Over...

WOW, where does the time go? Today, Patrick crossed over from learner's permit to an actual license. So not ready for him to drive! Not because he isn't ready, but because I am not ready...one baby all grown up!

January 22, 2009

Numbered...

Earlier than anticipated (but thankful) Ella Grace's social security card came in the mail today.

January 20, 2009

Questions, Questions & More Questions...

Remember we had decided to conduct a birth mother/family search? We have now compiled a list of questions we would like for our researcher to ask IF he is able to locate our daughter's biological family, extended family, and orphanage.

Here they are:

Questions:

Pregnancy, Labor, Delivery

· Was labor difficult?
· Was Ella Grace carried full term?
· Did you have medical care while you were pregnant?
· Was Ella Grace your first pregnancy? If not how did those pregnancies terminate?
· Did you drink or smoke while you were pregnant?
· Did she have any medical conditions upon birth?
· What were Ella Grace’s birth stats? Length and weight?
· For the 5 months you mothered her, was she a good baby?
· Did she sleep and eat well?
· Do you have any baby pictures of her?
· Is the name you gave her a family name? If so, who did you name her after?

Father’s Information

· Did he know about the pregnancy?
· If he did, was he at the birth? If yes, did he hold her and did he help name her?
· How old was her father at time of birth?
· What is his birthday, eye color, hair color, build, and
· height, weight; and is he right or left handed?
· Is he Ukrainian or another nationality?
· Did he go to school?
· What was his favorite subject?
· Was he a good student?
· Is he employed? If so, what type of employment?
· What type of education does he have?
· Did he have hobbies?
· What are his interest?
· Does he have a favorite song, food, time of year, sport,
· animal, color, holiday, and childhood memory?
· What religion does he practice if any?
· Does his family know of Ella Grace?
· How is his general health both physical and mental?
· What is his relationship with the birth mother now?
· Is he married/divorced now? If yes, how long?
· Does his now or then wife know of Ella Grace?
· If married/divorced, are there any children?
· Are they aware of a half sibling?
· Is there anything he or they would want Ella Grace to know?
· Is there anything he would like to send to his biological daughter as a memento/keepsake?
· What type of relationship would he like to have with us?

Mother’s Information

· What were the circumstances of the pregnancy (planned or unplanned)?
· What were the circumstances which made her place Ella Grace in the child house at 5 months old?
· What is her birthday, height, weight, hair color, eye color and is she right or left handed?
· Is she employed? If so, what type of employment?
· What type of education does she have?
· What was her favorite subject in school?
· Was she a good student?
· Does she have hobbies?
· What are her interest?
· Does she have a favorite song, food, time of year, sport, animal, color, holiday, and childhood memory?
· What religion does she practice if any?
· Does her family know of Ella Grace?
· What does she do in her spare time?
· How is her general health both physical and mental?
· What is her relationship with the birth father now?
· She is married/divorced now… how long?
· Does her now or then husband know of Ella Grace?
· Are there any children? If so, are they aware of a half sibling?
· Any other children given up for adoption? If so, does she know where they are now?
· Is there anything she or they would want Ella Grace to know?
· Is there anything she would like to send to her biological daughter as a memento/keepsake?
· What type of relationship would she like to have with us?

Orphanage/Child House

· Are there any photos of our daughter when she was
· younger?
· Who took care of Ella Grace when she was a baby?
· (Names, pictures, any info)
· What was she like as a baby?
· Did she have a favorite toy, song, game?
· Did she play better with girls or boys?
· How old was she when she sat up alone? Walked unassisted?
· When did she cut her first tooth?
· What was her first word?
· Did she ever ask about her biological mother and/or father?
· Did she have a best friend? Who? Pictures?
· While in the child house, did she have any illnesses?

Extended Family & Relatives

· Please list all known family members – living and/or dead.
· Include names, birthdays, death dates, pictures, occupations, religions.
· Where were her ancestors from? Where do they live now?
· Is there any history of disease or mental illness?
· What is the general health of relatives?
· What are their addresses, phone numbers, email addresses?
· Any special talents in the family?
· Any other background information that might be interesting or useful.

Can you think of anything we have left out?

January 19, 2009

Life Insurance, Educational Funds, Savings...

Just when you think you have completed all but the last post placement visit and passport...

...you remember the other important things like life insurance, educational funds, and a savings account. Today, we bought her life insurance policy, started her educational funds, and deposited monies into her very own savings. Are we forgetting anything?
This is our "spot" we began at the beginning of our journey in May 2007, to adopt a child from Ukraine. In August 2008, we traveled to Ukraine to bring our daughter/sister Ella Grace Ana home; and on September 12, 2008 we did just that.

While our journey to bring her home is complete, our journey together is just beginning. We will continue to keep our spot here, posting as frequently as we can; and keeping you updated on our next journey in life...maybe a second adoption is in our future.

Please join us by following us by clicking on the "Follow" link to the left and posting your notes at the bottom of any post we have made.

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